remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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