my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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