I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
