I'm going to jail i love you
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize