Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
