apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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