Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
