First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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