I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
