used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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