i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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