i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
