My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
