3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
