one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
