Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
