you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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