it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
