"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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