...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
