Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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