there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
