real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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