how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He better not be in your backpack
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
