Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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