I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize