That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
