At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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