best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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