if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
