no you cant smoke seaweed
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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