If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
my poor anus
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
