first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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