Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
