I didn't shave. On purpose
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
we made out on top of his cat.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
