His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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