Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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