lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize