I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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