Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
