:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize