I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
