So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
