After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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