im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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