Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
