I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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