there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Sorry about my life...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
