Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
