i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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