Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
