I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
There r osticjed everywhere
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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