I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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