yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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