Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
