shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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