...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
