IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
