He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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