Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
