I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
