if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
