just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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