About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
