I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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